And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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