Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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