Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
