Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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