Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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