DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
handjob tips. give me some.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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