I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
