Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
