Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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