Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
