I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
