the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
