Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
