it wasn't lemon gatorade
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
