M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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