You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
