# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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