His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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