I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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