Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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