Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
