I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
