Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
