Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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