he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
