I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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