Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize