Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize