Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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