A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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