Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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