I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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