I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
