Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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