I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
