I accidentally burped into my bong.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
