Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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