On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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