I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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