He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
