thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
pop tarts are not kleenex
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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