therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
