OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
the raccoons are back...
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