Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
