While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
