i was born a porn star she said
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
