He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
