hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
