I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
