U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
