ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
