I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
ok first of all what the fuck
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