my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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