I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
