Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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