Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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