We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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