I'm so fucking centered right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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