she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
