You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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