Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize