Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
